to do or not to do
upgrade your affirmation game
or start one that actually works
One of the things I was resistant to when I began working with Rebirthing Breathwork was affirmations.
In fact I was not on board. [ thank you Ego ]
I would have described myself as allergic to affirmations - they can be so twee and dishonouring of where you are actually at that I generally found them generating frustration or even anger rather than any benefits from repeating “Every day in every way I’m getting better and better” ( if you’ve read Louise Hay, that one should be familiar!).
It could just be that I had a lot of anger and frustration to move on out ( more about that in a moment) - which as a serial repressor of such things until an explosion point, that would be a very fair call ( not so much these days, but I’m not going to claim completion on that!).
Also, I was onto something. A hunch about something missing from the process, that was filled in for me when I started working with my Rebirther & Mentor, Georgia.
Louise Hay’s book (who interestingly was a rebirther back in the day, I believe this is where she learnt the affirmation process, but correct me if I am wrong!)) was always around when I began with Reiki in the mid 90’s, but I never really gelled with her affirmations. I might use them as a bouncing off point, but overall they felt too prescriptive in an overly simplified way. They felt they demanded something of me that was not what I was currently experiencing, which then required me to deny my current feeling, and with it a part of mySelf.
Denial is not helpful, plus I can do that on my own. Pretending things are changing when underneath they are not, also not helpful.
Sure, beautiful inspirational words and quotes can lift us up like a great cup of tea with a good friend, or a few minutes connecting with animals (dogs, chickens, goats - the closer up the better!)
Sure, it would be great to write an affirmation on the bathroom mirror and reflect all our issues away, but most of us aren’t at the point where we can do it that quickly.
And there’s more; if we wish to grow, self heal and get to know ourselves more fully. And that means we need to look within. Behind the mirror, beyond the facades we created to create a sense of safety for ourselves.
AN AFFIRMATION IS BOTH A TRIGGER AND A HEALING SALVE
A really good affirmation will help us to embrace our darkness and see our own light, without triggering us into trauma responses. It might not feel ‘good’ when you first hear it, but you will likely feel it in your being, and quite strongly. Even a seemingly sweet affirmation can bring up some heavy feelings and thoughts, thanks Louise Hay for showing me that, ha ha !
The thing is, what do we DO with that?
We recognise it. We honour it. We integrate it and let go of it, we stop hiding it or running from it. We shake hands so to speak and move on. We write it down, get it on paper so that we don’t have to carry it any more.
HOW?
It’s called a response column. For every time you repeat your affirmation there is a response. It might a muscle twitch (nervous twitch anybody?), a desire to go to the toilet (avoidance!), boredom (ego is not into this and I’m bored is classic Ego defense), a thought like this is bullshit, but not for me (defense!), or I love this, this feels good, a feeling of contraction, feeling heavy…. the possibilities are endless.
This is what has been ‘triggered’ by the affirmation - and the response is what your subconscious has to say about it. If we ignore this response it stays in place and has the power to influence our lives.
For example, If I am working on Success I could use an affirmation of “ I Briellen now generate success in my life “ (not a great affirmation, but it will do for my purposes here!).
This will trigger my mind to respond with all the ways that is not true or not possible - thoughts like I’m too shy, I’m not good enough, I don’t have enough experience, I need to do xyz first, why don’t I have it already, Ive worked hard enough!…”
Its not easy to create success if our subconscious doesn’t believe we can. We can do all the things, and we will self sabotage along the way - unconsciously - proving to ourselves that success is for other people, and yep, we sure aren’t good enough for that.
USING the RESPONSE COLUMN: use two pages or divide your page into two columns, write your affirmation in the first column, and note your response (no novels please!) in the other. This way you get to rewire with the positive shift thought, while you deprogram the old ones that are getting in your way.
Two other key points:
NOW: keep it in present time. Its the only time we have. Name it. See what that does in your mind as opposed to leaving it open or setting a future timeline. ( If you can get to tomorrow come and teach me how! ) It’s happening NOW or its not happening. Simple.
WRITE IT BY HAND: Minimum 10 times a day, and no you wont go to hell if you forget - that forgetting is part of your response column.
Electronic writing devices are not the go here - its just not going to work your mind and subconscious in the same way, especially with regard to rewiring your thought patterns and habits - have a read here if you don’t believe me. Paper for the win.
With these things in place, affirmations can truely be the game changer we’ve always wanted them to be.
I offer them to all my private clients, and we create them in our group sessions as well - always tailored to exactly where you are at, honouring your birth story and early childhood this is where your deep subconscious was set-up.
Find out more about: Private Sessions HERE
Our next group sessions: AUTUMN EQUINOX | 21 March or BREATHE an Introduction | 28 March
Now, go round up a pen and paper!